Tech Excuse Generator
The internet is down and the client is asking why. Don’t panic — press the button and receive a professionally worded explanation.
Management still not satisfied? Try the Mystic Orb or the Stupidity Calculator — or go back to the tools.
Every support tech knows the moment: the network is fine on your end, the client insists otherwise, and “have you tried restarting” won’t cut it this time. The Tech Excuse Generator produces a steady supply of technically-adjacent explanations, drawn from a cryptographic shuffle bag so no excuse repeats until all 24 have been used. No two incident reports sound alike, and none of them are legally binding.
This page is intentionally off the menu — it’s an easter egg for anyone who finds it, the way the Mystic Orb and the Stupidity Calculator are. The excuses are original, the randomness is real, and the responsibility is entirely yours. Need an actual IT company instead of an alibi? Wired In IT serves the Rio Grande Valley.